So the other day I stayed home sick from church. Being 15 weeks pregnant, this was the first time I played the sick card so I wasn't feeling to down on myself for it. Of course moms know that being "sick" doesn't mean you get a break. Anyhow, it was well after 1 and I had to let the dog out to do his business. Apparently he thought his business was to take a little jog through the neighbor hood. I am a huge dog lover, huge. But sometimes I think I hate them as much as I love them. Gunner is a pretty good boy most of the time- save the barking during Addi's naptime, the puking every time he rides in the car, and the ever present urge to just take off, oh and the complete disregard for anything I tell him to do. He obeys every word my husband speaks to him, but I get the impression that he just scoffs at my attempts to be the "pack leader." (Caesar Milan I need you.) So off he goes into the wild blue yonder that is Broadmoore. So what do I do? I have my toddler watching me from the window and my stinkin dog wanting to pee on every tree he can find! Gunner has settled in the yard of my neighbor so I figured this would be the end of the fiasco. He waited till I was just a few feet away before he took off once again. I feel my blood boiling. I really could not just let him run off. My husband would be so annoyed with me when he returned from church if he found Gunner missing…or better yet, using the neighbors yard as a potty. I had an idea. I ran into the house and grabbed my snack of choice- a box of cheese-its, and proceeded to chase my dog down the street. Now just so you get the full effect, visualize me running in my fuzzy slippers, brightly checkered pj pants, a robe and crazy morning hair- even though it is lunch time- shaking a box of crackers and hollering at my crazy k-9 all while feeling like I could puke at any moment. My neighbors probably locked their doors. The crackers were genius. Gunner may be quick, but he is not the smartest. I finally caught up with him after what felt like a mile, but really was only about five houses down. He was putty in my hands as soon as he saw the treats I had. He was banished to the back yard for the rest of the day. Addi was all a bit confused as to why mom was breathing so hard and grumpy after that, but she too was appeased with cheese-its. So much for taking a sick day ☺
This is FANTASTIC!! I laughed out loud at the picture of you running, green-faced down the road. Thanks for the story. Today is already rough, so I needed the laugh...thanks.
Great story, Erin! Here's my little contribution to this post... Poop. This past weekend I was babysitting my niece and nephew along with watching my own kid (Amillia, a.k.a. "Millie" 1 yo) when Cole, my nephew who speaks a funny little 2 yo jibberish language comes up to me and says, "Oti cootu chneuo neune poo poo." Umm... I got the end part right. "POO POO" So, I take Cole double time to the potty and rip off that diaper followed closely by my mom's 1 yo Yorkie Poo Macie. Well, when I rip the diaper off oh-so-eloquently, I didn't realize that the cheuno neune poo poo had already started. The poop plopped promptly on the tile. As I threw Cole up to the big kid potty and out of quick reflex, thinking very swiftly and logically, I might add, I reach down with my bare hand and grab the slimy poo off the floor before the little curious dog gets into it. O.M.Garsh. It was so gross and so smelly. Aunties don't have the "my kid's stank don't stank" magical powers. I quickly flicked the poo in between Cole's little legs careful not to flick his little flicker and went to scrubbing my hands like a wild woman. I didn't tell my mom that I then turned to see little Macie cleaning up the residual dump on the floor. Oh, Lord, it was so gross and so funny and such a great memory... :o) Upon exiting the bathroom with cheers of Cole's glory (as he finished the second 1/2 of his duties in the potty), I went to let out our dogs from a night in the garage. I was then hit with a wall of stank like nothing I had experienced. It seems that Ginger, our lab, got a hold of something and it exited out of her body in the most putrid and defiling way. This is when my happy mood ceased. While the kids, mom, doggies all started to play in the snow SOMEONE was cleaning dog poo off the garage floor with a shovel and a squeegee (hubby was conveniently out of town). I don't want to deal with other creatures' poo for a long, long time. Whew. I'm worn out just writing about it!
I was reviewing the new vocab for this week and one of our SAT words was ethereal - heavenly; fine; delicately beautiful. DeVonte, a hilarious kid, looks at Ci Ci, a gorgeous Asian girl (who's boyfriend is normally in class but was absent on Monday), and he says, "That's you." I lost it! And I loved it.
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So the other day I stayed home sick from church. Being 15 weeks pregnant, this was the first time I played the sick card so I wasn't feeling to down on myself for it. Of course moms know that being "sick" doesn't mean you get a break. Anyhow, it was well after 1 and I had to let the dog out to do his business. Apparently he thought his business was to take a little jog through the neighbor hood. I am a huge dog lover, huge. But sometimes I think I hate them as much as I love them. Gunner is a pretty good boy most of the time- save the barking during Addi's naptime, the puking every time he rides in the car, and the ever present urge to just take off, oh and the complete disregard for anything I tell him to do. He obeys every word my husband speaks to him, but I get the impression that he just scoffs at my attempts to be the "pack leader." (Caesar Milan I need you.) So off he goes into the wild blue yonder that is Broadmoore. So what do I do? I have my toddler watching me from the window and my stinkin dog wanting to pee on every tree he can find! Gunner has settled in the yard of my neighbor so I figured this would be the end of the fiasco. He waited till I was just a few feet away before he took off once again. I feel my blood boiling. I really could not just let him run off. My husband would be so annoyed with me when he returned from church if he found Gunner missing…or better yet, using the neighbors yard as a potty. I had an idea. I ran into the house and grabbed my snack of choice- a box of cheese-its, and proceeded to chase my dog down the street. Now just so you get the full effect, visualize me running in my fuzzy slippers, brightly checkered pj pants, a robe and crazy morning hair- even though it is lunch time- shaking a box of crackers and hollering at my crazy k-9 all while feeling like I could puke at any moment. My neighbors probably locked their doors. The crackers were genius. Gunner may be quick, but he is not the smartest. I finally caught up with him after what felt like a mile, but really was only about five houses down. He was putty in my hands as soon as he saw the treats I had. He was banished to the back yard for the rest of the day. Addi was all a bit confused as to why mom was breathing so hard and grumpy after that, but she too was appeased with cheese-its. So much for taking a sick day ☺
This is FANTASTIC!! I laughed out loud at the picture of you running, green-faced down the road. Thanks for the story. Today is already rough, so I needed the laugh...thanks.
Great story, Erin! Here's my little contribution to this post...
Poop.
This past weekend I was babysitting my niece and nephew along with watching my own kid (Amillia, a.k.a. "Millie" 1 yo) when Cole, my nephew who speaks a funny little 2 yo jibberish language comes up to me and says, "Oti cootu chneuo neune poo poo." Umm... I got the end part right. "POO POO" So, I take Cole double time to the potty and rip off that diaper followed closely by my mom's 1 yo Yorkie Poo Macie. Well, when I rip the diaper off oh-so-eloquently, I didn't realize that the cheuno neune poo poo had already started. The poop plopped promptly on the tile. As I threw Cole up to the big kid potty and out of quick reflex, thinking very swiftly and logically, I might add, I reach down with my bare hand and grab the slimy poo off the floor before the little curious dog gets into it. O.M.Garsh. It was so gross and so smelly. Aunties don't have the "my kid's stank don't stank" magical powers. I quickly flicked the poo in between Cole's little legs careful not to flick his little flicker and went to scrubbing my hands like a wild woman. I didn't tell my mom that I then turned to see little Macie cleaning up the residual dump on the floor. Oh, Lord, it was so gross and so funny and such a great memory... :o)
Upon exiting the bathroom with cheers of Cole's glory (as he finished the second 1/2 of his duties in the potty), I went to let out our dogs from a night in the garage. I was then hit with a wall of stank like nothing I had experienced. It seems that Ginger, our lab, got a hold of something and it exited out of her body in the most putrid and defiling way. This is when my happy mood ceased. While the kids, mom, doggies all started to play in the snow SOMEONE was cleaning dog poo off the garage floor with a shovel and a squeegee (hubby was conveniently out of town). I don't want to deal with other creatures' poo for a long, long time. Whew. I'm worn out just writing about it!
I was reviewing the new vocab for this week and one of our SAT words was ethereal - heavenly; fine; delicately beautiful. DeVonte, a hilarious kid, looks at Ci Ci, a gorgeous Asian girl (who's boyfriend is normally in class but was absent on Monday), and he says, "That's you." I lost it! And I loved it.
You guys made me laugh soo hard! Thanks for the stories!
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